To anyone who feels they didn’t/don’t learn enough in high-school, I’m creating a series of letters that will address some real-world basics that I think every high-schooler must know.
Today’s letter is on Sex. Yup, the elixer of continuing life.
Let’s get straight to it.
Puberty
The first thing to note about puberty is that it starts at different times for everyone. Some people sense changes very early, for others it can be delayed. The playing field levels out in the end so not to worry. For guys and girls, puberty is a time where your body will develop, pubic hair grows, hormones change, acne occurs, voices change and most importantly your sexual behaviour changes. You become much more aware of sexual stimuli.
These changes occur naturally, however, through peers and the internet, you will come across “new things” like masturbation, sex and pornography. You may notice your peers using words like “dick”, “pussy”, “vagina” etc. Your curiosity will go through the roof.
Masturbation
Most likely, the first time you masturbate will be via pornography. This applies to girls and guys. You can masturbate on your own, however, your curiosity for visual sex will naturally lead you to masturbating through porn at first. After your first arousal, if you “finish” (cum, ejaculate, orgasm etc), you will notice not only body fluids but changes in your mental state. Your mental state may become calm and relaxed or in reverse, your eagerness/curiosity will want you to do it again.
Pornography
If you start regularly masturbating to pornography, keep a few things in mind. Pornography can be a great resource to learn the baby steps of sex, HOWEVER, do not let it be your only visual reference/guide for sex. In addition to that, DO NOT become addicted to pornography.
The following can apply to any gender however, it may be more relatable to men as they are 543% more likely to watch porn (check out these statistics).
If you get addicted to pornography you will sink into a dark hole and literally fuck up your sexual stimulus capacity (learn more). The dark hole is you being a person who spends HOURS watching pornography. Hours on porn sites is a one way ticket to becoming an unattractive human who can’t speak to people or engage in real sex. Furthermore, if you’re addicted to porn and you have real sex with a partner, you may find yourself not being able to control your ejaculation OR finishing with very little stimulus (you don’t want to cum while only kissing your partner).
Use the plethora of videos on porn sites as a learning experience. Feel free to watch sexual education videos by the actual performers. The male and female actors give great tips for people trying to get better at sex.
Intercourse
When you and a partner are ready for intercourse(sex), it’s important to note a few things.
Sex has to be consensual from all people involved. Sex without consent is abuse/rape under the law.
Always use protection. You can have great sex with a condom. Birth control, Plan B and other control measures should only be used when your partner is comfortable and understands the risks involved.
If your partner is intoxicated do NOT take advantage of their lack of senses. This can be considered sexual assault/rape under many laws.
During sex, don’t force your partner into positions they aren’t comfortable with. Take your time, be gentle and practise positions when BOTH of you are okay with it.
Guys will finish really fast when they initially start having sex. It’s totally normal. You will build your sexual stamina with time and practise. Porn actors have great tips on building sexual stamina.
Girls will not finish as easy as guys. This is where your partner’s sexual stamina and experience will come into play. Play around with different positions and angles(literally), you will find the spot.
Privacy
Sex between people is their own business. If they chose to tell people about their private life that’s totally up-to them. Do not force people to talk about their sexual lives. In addition, bragging about having sex is a one way ticket to becoming a douche.
It’s those who talk the loudest, who are the most insecure.
- Unknown
In today’s world, images and videos can be uploaded at the speed of light. That includes nudes, sex tapes or any other form of sexual content. BE VERY CAREFUL who you share your personal photos/videos with. Someone you trust today may not be someone you trust tomorrow. Photos and videos can spread like wildfire and one wrong text can make a life miserable. It can sadly also lead to people taking their own lives. If your partner sends you nudes, they are TRUSTING you not to share with others.
My best advice, try to avoid publicizing sexually explicit content of yourself until you are 18 (legal age of consent in most places).
Remember, sex is a natural part of life. It is NOT the only part of life. Your focus should not be 100% on having sex. Build your wealth, health and career.
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This letter is for entertainment purposes only. Please do your own due diligence. The views expressed on sexual health are for anyone regardless of gender or identity.