Starting off this letter with a video game analogy…
In Call of Duty, gamers often strive for a positive kill/death ratio because it is an indicator of their in-game success. In real-life, we can think of something similar; a win/loss ratio.
What does this mean?
Have you thought of how many L’s you’ve taken in life? Compare these to your W’s.
As life is a bit more complicated than video games, your W/L ratio is most likely negative. If not, then you’re either content in life or simply not trying.
To simplify things, a Loss (L) is a moment in your life where you failed physically, psychologically or socially. Didn’t get the job? L. Got rejected by someone you like? L. Couldn’t lift a weight or sprint fast enough? L.
A Win (W) on the other hand would be a significant moment of achievement. Got the job? W. A person says yes to a date? W. Hit a PR in the gym or beat your 400m time? W.
Notice how a majority of W/L scenario’s (ignoring luck) are the exact same thing but with a different result. Looking further, a positive scenario (W) most likely follows a negative scenario (L). For example, when applying for a job, you’re most probably going to be rejected from other employers before one accepts you. Without going through the process of building your resume, your confidence and communication skills, it’s highly unlikely you will get your desired job on the first go.
Psychological Skills
I can’t think of any moment in life where I failed at something and didn’t end up better afterwards. In the short term, those L’s hurt.
I’ve gone through job rejections, girl rejections, agent rejections, casting rejections, financial mistakes, embarrassing myself and public fuck-ups to name a few. The actual list is too long to post. The point is, in the long term all those L’s helped me to earn W’s in life (it’s an endless process). Only after getting rejected by a girl did I realize “hmm okay this approach didn’t work, I should try something else next time” OR “ I got nervous at the casting, next time I’ll work on my nerves”. The KEY here is that you will attempt to TRY AGAIN. This is where the psychological factor comes in. If you take an L once and quit, how do you ever expect to get a W? After my first rejection if I said to myself “fuck this, I’m never going to go to another casting or talk to another girl”, then I would never have gotten another gig or relationship in my life.
Your W/L ratio isn’t meant to be pretty BUT that doesn’t mean you call it quits at 1000 L’s and 0 W’s. Those W’s are earned not given. DO NOT QUIT.
Social Skills
Your social skills will only develop once you go out and talk to people. You can’t read a book and understand things like body language, eye contact, speech, moods etc. Having a physical conversation with someone is the best way to develop your communication skills. For those in the back who might say “But I’m an introvert…”, being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re supposed to hide in your shell all day. An introvert by definition is simply someone who feels comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts rather than external distractions. It is no excuse for you not to approach someone for a conversation.
Side Note: I’m probably one of the biggest introverts in the world but when I’m on set, at a party or with strangers, I’m usually the most talkative person. I used to be the shy guy in the corner (a wallflower) until I realized that if I don’t approach people, I won’t make any friends, relations, connections etc. It didn’t happen overnight though, I had to take many socially awkward L’s along the way (and still do).
Physical Skills
Ever heard of progressive overloading? This is the stuff that gives you muscles (besides steroids). Progressive overloading is simply the gradual increase of stress placed on your muscles and nervous system when you work out. A simple example. Hit 5 reps of 300lb squats? Next workout you will try 5 reps of 305lb squats.
Now for context, you may not be able to hit 305 for 5 reps when you try it. You may only get 3 or 4 reps. Here you’ve taken an L but guess what, now your body knows that this person is making me lift more weight, I must grow to accommodate the overloading. When you finally hit 305 and get your W, you’ll feel good and continue going higher.
Now what happens if you were scared of raising the weight higher? Your body adapts and it won’t grow. It has no reason to… you aren’t pushing yourself to higher limits, you’ve told your body “hey, I’m content right now”.
This may be a very general example but it applies to any walk of life. If you try and take an L, you will try again and get the W.
Final Point
This letter was a bit on the spontaneous personal side but I feel like it’s something everyone should keep in mind. Life probably won’t last forever so why not take a chance even if it mean’s taking L’s. Without those L’s you won’t get your W’s.
I wanted to highlight the difference between thinking of doing something versus actually doing it. Many times we are too afraid to act(myself included) but as Will Smith once said “God placed the best things in life, on the other side of fear.”
Regardless of your belief in God, I hope you get the point :)
Thank You
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